Tears Wash Away the Past
by just.a.blue.jay
Summary: James has always hated when girls cry. But when he finds the love of his life in tears, will he change for her?


Once, when someone asked me what was one thing that I absolutely couldn't stand, I answered saying "Girls crying." I know it sounds insensitive and rude, but it's true. I wouldn't know what to do and I would feel helpless just standing there watching.

Anyway, I never really had to deal with girls crying. I haven't been with too many girls and when I would break up with them, they wouldn't really react badly. I mean, there was this one girl who threw a lamp at my head. I guess that one ended pretty badly, but at least she didn't cry.

Sometimes, I would try comfort my little sister, Emma, if she was sad. She is about seven years younger than me, so she would be turning ten in a few months. She meant everything to me, and I would do anything for her, but even if she was crying I wouldn't exactly know what to do. Sad, huh?

My best mates, Sirius and Remus, knew how I was with girls crying and they often teased me about it. They would say things like, "Prongs, what if a girl bursts into tears at the sight of your face? What would you do?" and "James, if your sister or your mum broke down in tears right in front of you, would you just stand there awkwardly?"

I really couldn't answer them, because, honestly, I wasn't sure what I would do.

But I usually didn't have to deal with this subject too often with them, because they found it more entertaining to tease me about something else.

"Prongs! Look, Evans is taking off her shirt!"

I whipped my head around and scanned the common room with my eyes. I scowled when I heard Sirius' laughter behind me.

"Really, mate? I thought you learned by now to not listen to me," Sirius said, smirking at me from where he was standing by the stairs leading to our dorm.

Yes, Sirius and Remus loved to tease me about Lily Evans. It wasn't a secret that I have fancied her since I saw her on our first day in our first year, but those two just wanted to make it obvious by publicly mocking me. My best friends, ladies and gentlemen.

"Sirius, leave James alone. We've taunted him enough for today. You can continue tomorrow," Remus said, walking down from our dorm.

I rolled my eyes. "Gee, thanks, Moony," I said sarcastically.

He grinned, taking in my sarcastic tone, but choosing to ignore it. "You're welcome, Prongs."

I shook my head fondly. "I'm going up to our room, 'night."

As I walked up the stairs, I heard Remus and Sirius call back "'Night" before arguing over something stupid.

I quickly changed out of my school robes and into shorts and a t-shirt. I laid in bed, wanting to fall sleep but not being able to. I shut my eyes, trying to force myself asleep. Didn't work.

I tossed and turned for the next two hours. While I was laying there in bed, trying to fall asleep, I heard Remus and Sirius come in. They weren't talking because they thought I had fallen asleep already.

By midnight, I still hadn't fallen asleep. I silently got out of bed and headed towards the door. Sirius and Remus had fallen asleep a while ago and now they were both peacefully sleeping. Well, as peacefully as possible for one of them. Remus lay in his bed, breathing slowly with his hands clasped together on his chest. Sirius, on the other hand, was sprawled across his bed with his sheets strewn around him. He was the epitome of gracefulness.

I crept down the stairs quietly, thinking that there was no one in the common room. I was wrong.

There, sitting in front of the fire on one of the love seats, was Lily Evans. The girl of my dreams, the one who I have been chasing after since I first saw her when we were eleven.

And she was crying her eyes out.

Suddenly, my heart went out to her. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her small, shaking form and whisper words of comfort into her ear. I wanted to place small, tender kisses on her face.

I didn't even feel frightened at the sight of her tears. That was a huge change. This is the first time I actually wanted to comfort a crying girl, rather than run like there was no tomorrow.

My feet started moving on their own. Before I knew it, I was standing next to Lily. If I wanted to, I could reach out and stroke her beautiful red hair. And I wanted to.

But I didn't, because that would _definitely _freak her out.

I studied her disheveled appearance. She was wearing shorts and a tank top. Her long hair was tied back into a ponytail, which was starting to fall out. Her eyes were puffy and red and her cheeks were flushed from crying.

I guess she heard me somehow, because Lily whipped her head around to look at me. Her eyes were wide in surprise and she gasped when she saw me standing so close to her.

"James, what are you doing up?" she croaked, her voice hoarse from crying so much.

She must have been really upset. She didn't even realize that she had called me 'James.' On the inside, I was torn between sadness that she was so upset over something and happiness that she had actually used my first name.

"I couldn't sleep," I said simply, not breaking eye contact with her. I stepped forward so I was standing directly next to her.

She nodded, her face emotionless. She was trying to hide her feelings from me. I wasn't about to let that happen.

"Lily, what's wrong?" I asked, crouching down so I was eye level with her.

She turned her head away from me. "I'm fine," she mumbled.

"Don't even give me that Lily, what's wrong?" I pleaded.

She simply shook her head, still looking away from me. I had to know what was hurting her so much.

"Lily, please."

She turned towards me, probably shocked at my change in tone. I was now desperate to find out what was wrong.

"Please tell me, you don't know how much it's hurting me to see you in so much pain."

If it was possible, she looked even more surprised. She obviously didn't expect me to say something like that.

I sighed. "Lily, I know you think that I ask you out constantly just 'for the thrill of the chase', but that's wrong. I really do like you, and seeing you like this hurts me as well."

Emotion flickered in Lily's emerald green eyes. It was too fast for me to distinguish what it was, but I saw it. It was there.

"Please tell me what's hurting you," I begged one last time. I prayed she would finally tell me.

She sighed and finally looked me in the eye. I saw so much pain in them that I just wanted to reach out and hug her and never let her go. I also saw trust, which put a small smile on my face.

"I just got two letters. One was from m-my sister, Petunia, and the other was from Dumbledore. The one from my sister was on top so I opened that o-one first," she said, hiccuping a bit.

"I shouldn't h-have. She was angry at me being a witch and she was telling me how i-it was all m-my fault," she sobbed.

"What was she saying was your fault?" I asked gently, not wanting to upset her further.

She looked down at the rug. "My parents were killed yesterday. By Death Eaters. She blames me for their deaths."

I suddenly felt pure hatred build up inside of me. How could anyone do this to such an innocent, sweet, kind, loving girl like Lily? How could someone tear her family apart and throw away the pieces? She doesn't deserve this. At all.

"Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry," I said, moving to sit on the arm of the loveseat. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to me. She didn't stop me.

"You don't deserve this."

Lily didn't do anything. "The letter from Dumbledore was the one I should have opened first. He explained it all to me in a much nicer way, though I don't think that was hard to achieve. Anyone could be nicer than my sister."

More hatred bubbled up inside of me. Right now, I just wanted to march up to this Petunia person and punch the living daylights out of her. I know that sounds terrible considering the facts she's a girl, but I really wanted to get back at her somehow. She should see how torn up and broken Lily is right now.

"Voldemort, h-he took my family away from m-me," she sobbed, throwing her arms around my neck. She buried her face in my shoulder while she wept.

By instinct, I moved to sit down on the loveseat while gently lifting her. I placed her on my lap as I stroked her hair lightly.

"Life is cruel, it ruins the lives of people who deserve happiness, like you. But you know what comes out of this? Now, you are probably stronger, and more determined than you were before, and that's saying something. Now, I'm not telling you that you should just forget and move on, but I know your parents wouldn't want you wasting your life crying over them. They would want you doing something with your life, accomplishing great things and becoming an amazing witch," I whispered, placing a soft kiss on her temple.

She nodded and looked up at me, giving me a watery smile. I couldn't help but smile in return.

"Thank you, James, you know, I think you really have changed," she said, giving me a hug.

"I would do anything for you, Lily, I hope you know that," I told her.

"Really?" she asked, looking at me through her long, thick eyelashes.

I nodded. "Anything."

She looked me straight in the eye, her bright emerald orbs piercing my hazel ones. I couldn't look away, nor did I want to.

"Kiss me."

And I did.

And that was the night Lily Evans became my girlfriend. That was also the one time I felt comfortable soothing a crying girl, who I am happy to say isn't going to be leaving my life anytime soon.


End file.
